The summer weather has hit us full force, so the little ones and I have stepped, blinking out of doors, which is a nice change. I’ve decided to find every playground within a ten mile radius of my door this summer. So far, every one of them has had its ups and downs (teeter totter pun). Overall, as a sun-hater, I prefer the shaded ones. But it’s not about me is it. I've devised a little rating of each piece of playground equipment. I’m sure I’ve omitted some, so please send me lists of whatever I've missed, or your own ratings.
The Slide
Takes a certain amount of bravery, and effort, each time to get up to the top, but the final two second thrill of hurling yourself down a slick surface is entirely worth it. The twisty slide gets extra points for bravery, since your final destination is not always visible. The hot reflective metal slides of my youth are a dying breed, being squeezed out of playgrounds by plastics, so the dangers of scalding bare legs on a scorching summer day is greatly reduced.
8 out of 10
Swings
The most sedentary animal of the playground. Requires the rider to simply sit stationary. Can be pushed by a ground dweller, or with a minimal amount of effort move their legs back and forth below the knee to start the pendulum swing. An all purpose piece of equipment. The highest highs can emit big thrills, while the leisurely melodic swinging can induce contemplation and introspection. Bonus points for tire swings, where the option of sharing a ride is possible.
10 out of 10
Springy Riders (do they have an actual name?)
Solid hunks of metal, often in the shape of odd animals or vehicles, mounted atop a large spring, which is stuck into the ground. Their appeal ends at their bright colors and shapes. The rider must throw themselves into rocking the beast, while it springs back to its original position after each movement. Generally not even a good spot to sit and relax since it usually requires the sitter to straddle it, feet in stirrups, body leaning forward, gripping on the handlebars. No child lasts more than 1 minute on these, guaranteed.
3 out of 10
Sand
Feels wonderful on bare feet or hands when dry, and is malleable and moldable when wet. Invokes unbounded creativity. Can be a delicacy for the young and a dirty weapon for all, Often of questionable cleanliness.
6 out of 10
The Teeter Totter aka Seesaw
Stipulations a mile long.
Must have a friend to ride.
Friend must be of similar weight and height.
Must take cooperation on both parties.
A tremendous amount of trust is required from whomever is the up.
The down holds all the power. Down rider can leave up stranded for an extended time period.
Down could make a quick dismount causing the up party to come crashing to the ground.
Down should always remember that their power is fleeting.
4 out of 10
Showing posts with label Lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lists. Show all posts
April 24, 2008
March 27, 2008
parenting experts
It used to be that an expert was one who had mastered a specific skill or subject. Now it seems, that an expert is defined as one who simply states it, and most importantly, has others believe it. It also helps in solidifying your legitimacy if you go on TV, write an article, or even better a book that no one reads, but everyone quotes. Parenting Expert, Design Expert, Lactation Expert, Etiquette Expert, Lifestyle Expert (Ok really? Lifestyle Expert? What the hell is this?)
Everyone’s an expert.
Not to forget the mothers, fathers, inlaws, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, strangers, coworkers, and of course, the childless, they all seem to know better than the rest of us. I would like to know where they received their degree in Expertology, and how the rest of us got so stupid.
Let me cite an example. About every five years, experts are “revising” their baby sleep rules. Stomach, side, back, co-sleeping, crib sleeping only, bumper pads, no bumper pads, blankets, no blankets, warm room, cool room. It’s enough to make a new parent’s head spin.
I, like so many others, got sucked up into this expert culture. In the early reign of my first born, I listened, watched, and read the advice of any expert spewing information at me. I may not have followed all of it, but I sat and nodded in agreement, went back to whatever terrible parenting habit I had started and couldn’t stop, and felt guilty until the next expert told me it was ok to do whatever it was I was doing to the child. If that expert didn’t present him/herself in a timely manner, I would scour the online parenting sites until I found an expert that said what I was doing was the right thing to be doing… despite what the other experts stated. Why was I doing this? An attempt at legitimacy in my parenting skills? Afraid that someone would find out I’m a terrible parent and take my baby away? Scrutinizing every move I made when all along I should have been scrutinizing these “experts”?
After many stressful, teary days I realized, maybe, this culture of expert advice should be altered into a culture of supportive camaraderie.
So, how do we start this revolution? How about each of us becoming experts on our own lives, and respecting the expert decisions others make in their own lives.
Just for starters.
This is surprisingly liberating.
Do it yourself!
You’ll be shocked at how well your children start sleeping, eating, and generally behaving.
20 RULES FOR PARENTING:
by my own personal parenting expert, me.
And I, as the parent expert, reserve the right to add to, alter, postcript, and revise any and all rules at my discretion.
Everyone’s an expert.
Not to forget the mothers, fathers, inlaws, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, strangers, coworkers, and of course, the childless, they all seem to know better than the rest of us. I would like to know where they received their degree in Expertology, and how the rest of us got so stupid.
Let me cite an example. About every five years, experts are “revising” their baby sleep rules. Stomach, side, back, co-sleeping, crib sleeping only, bumper pads, no bumper pads, blankets, no blankets, warm room, cool room. It’s enough to make a new parent’s head spin.
I, like so many others, got sucked up into this expert culture. In the early reign of my first born, I listened, watched, and read the advice of any expert spewing information at me. I may not have followed all of it, but I sat and nodded in agreement, went back to whatever terrible parenting habit I had started and couldn’t stop, and felt guilty until the next expert told me it was ok to do whatever it was I was doing to the child. If that expert didn’t present him/herself in a timely manner, I would scour the online parenting sites until I found an expert that said what I was doing was the right thing to be doing… despite what the other experts stated. Why was I doing this? An attempt at legitimacy in my parenting skills? Afraid that someone would find out I’m a terrible parent and take my baby away? Scrutinizing every move I made when all along I should have been scrutinizing these “experts”?
After many stressful, teary days I realized, maybe, this culture of expert advice should be altered into a culture of supportive camaraderie.
So, how do we start this revolution? How about each of us becoming experts on our own lives, and respecting the expert decisions others make in their own lives.
Just for starters.
This is surprisingly liberating.
Do it yourself!
You’ll be shocked at how well your children start sleeping, eating, and generally behaving.
20 RULES FOR PARENTING:
by my own personal parenting expert, me.
- Everyone is happy when baby sleeps with mom and dad.
- When baby cries, go pick baby up
- When baby cries, if busy, finish what I’m doing and then go pick baby up.
- Soothers are magical plugs that stop the screaming
- Nipple confusion is a myth
- Bottle or breast, as long as you are feeding your baby you’ve made the right choice
- The moment you figure out how to breastfeed is the moment you stop listening to lactation consultants
- Feeding schedule is when baby is hungry
- Sleeping schedule is when baby is sleepy.
- Feeding or sleeping can be done wherever we happen to be at the time the need arises
- Tantrums can usually be handled with a hug or a tickle, or by throwing one myself.
- TV is a fabulous teacher/nanny/entertainer
- Censoring is avoidance
- Freeplay is much more educational than organized activities
- Clean is a subjective term
- Doctors are anatomy experts, not gods.
- Pregnancy should be kept a secret from everyone until crowning.
- Cribs are merely displays for stuffed animals
- 20 diapers and 3 changes of clothing are completely unnecessary for a daytrip
- The only advice/criticism that should be given to another parents is to stop listening to advice/criticism and do what works for them.
And I, as the parent expert, reserve the right to add to, alter, postcript, and revise any and all rules at my discretion.
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