quiet doesn't mean good

As written in a previous blog entry, what I miss most about being a non-parent is staring at the wall and just thinking.

But at certain times of the day, something happens. Peace and quiet descends upon this household. Sometimes it's unnoticeable. But if it lasts more than 2 minutes, I know something is wrong. I can't revel in the delight.

This morning, I was able to shower in semi-peace. I put the gate up to the door of the bathroom and let Buddy wander around my bedroom. Of course, I had to prep for 10 minutes. Dump all his toys on the floor, flick on Barney and whatever else. Not to mention take off all the 20 drawer handles which required a screwdriver and makes it darn near impossible to get underwear and socks.

So there I am showering and then all of the sudden, I notice that Buddy isn't standing at the gate screaming in his baby jargon or throwing Lego into the bathroom, or running around like a chicken without a head. I poke out the shower door. Noooobody. With the shower still running, I step out nearly having a "help, I can't get up" episode. There he is, around the corner squeezing out the hand lotion he managed to steal off my night table. And eating it.

I climb over the gate almost breaking my neck, grab it out of his hand and pursue whatever left I had of my shower. A peeping tom would have had a field day.

I don't know why I never learn my own lesson. Other long peace and quiet times means that Buddy has gotten the remote control, tossed it on the floor so the batteries come out, and then sticking it in his mouth. Other times means that he is squirting all the milk from his bottle onto the floor or table and using his hands as Kleenex. He's quiet for a reason. Because the sooner I find out, the sooner he gets in trouble. And he's only 14 months. Babies aren't dumb.

Just remember, if you have kids and your house seems disturbingly quiet, it most likely means a bad thing, unfortunately.